Deja Vu

We have a regular customer, let's call her Agnes P. Ambien. She's an older lady gets a number of things from us, but her favorite medication is Ambien. For those of you who don't know what that it, it's a prescription sleeping aid....... and also a controlled substance. (That means it's regulated more strictly than say penicillin.) Every month Agnes gets her 30 day supply of Ambien and every month she comes back for an early refill - something we legally cannot do because of state and Federal laws. And every month we have the same conversation - she tells us that she took a couple extra tablets because the first one didn't help a couple of nights. We tell her that she can't do that and if the medicine isn't working she needs to speak to her doctor about other options (there are plenty). She promises to never ever take extra tablets again and then tells us that since she is out of medicine she won't be able to sleep again until we will refill her prescription. We tell her what date we will be able to fill it again and that we would be subjected to heavy fines from the state if we filled it early. Most of the time that's the end of the conversation until the next day. (She usually tries this every day until we can fill her prescription - you never know, maybe she'll get someone new!)

Well, she was in again the other day with that same old song and dance, so I reminded her AGAIN that it is ILLEGAL for us to refill that medication early. But she was a little more desperate this time to that wasn't the end of the conversation:

Me: I can't fill that early. It's against the law and we would face huge fines.

Agnes: But who would know?

Me: The state inspectors when they come in.

Agnes: Can't you tell them to get lost?

Me: Ummmm.... no. [I'm sure that would go down really well - "Hey Mr. Inspector - get out of my pharmacy!"]

Agnes: Can't you just change the date in your records?

Me: Ummmmm... how does no sound? [Let's see, she wants me to fill her controlled medicine early, tell the inspectors to go jump in the lake, and then I'm supposed to falsify the records on top of all that. Should I also go rob a bank for her so she'll have the money to pay for the drugs?]

If she pulled this kind of thing once, I would just chalk it up to her testing the boundaries - but come on. Every freaking month for the past several years? Especially when she's talking to one of the same seven people on a daily basis and we are all saying the exact same things to her? What the fuck is wrong with you? Take the hint already!