Back Asswards

I was on vacation in Pennsylvania one time, stuck in a hellacious traffic jam. Traffic was barely moving at all, so it was pretty frustrating. Next to me was a pretty long entrance ramp to get on to the turnpike. (It paralleled the turnpike for at least a block before merging with it.) As I sat there in traffic, I saw some poor fool on the entrance ramp making his way to the turnpike. But when he saw the traffic jam, he stopped and then proceeded to back up the entrance ramp - effectively using it as an exit ramp. Fortunately no one was behind him. Now I know that getting stuck in traffic is no fun, but even so - what the f*ck is wrong with you?

Your tax money at work

There is an intersection that I have to use every day on my way to work. Let's call the two streets Maple and Oak. It's a T intersection so that Oak Street ends where Maple crosses it. The town has been doing some work at that intersection recently as both streets are main roads. The latest "improvement" is a pair of yield signs. The first yield sign almost makes sense. It's on Oak Street and it's a warning for people making a right turn on to Maple to yield to the Maple Street traffic. Now the reason I say that one "almost" makes sense is that there is a flashing red light at the intersection which means Oak Street traffic is supposed to stop before turning in either direction. So you really don't need a yield where you already have to stop. The other yield sign makes less sense. It's on Maple and it's a warning for those turning right onto Oak to yield to....... what? It's a T intersection! There is no Oak Street on the other side of Maple so there is no traffic to yield for. Hey highway department, what the f*ck is wrong with you?

Maybe if you are a ghost.....

One day I was straightening merchandise in the very last aisle of the store. (This story would play better with visual aids, but since I don't have that luxury you will just have to picture it in your mind.) As I stood there facing the far wall of the store, a customer approached me from behind asking where a particular item was. I told him the item was located in aisle 5. He then asked, "Oh, is aisle 5 that way?" as he pointed over his shoulder to the other aisles of the store. Well, yeah - it has to be that way. My company has done its share of stupid things, but expecting customers to be able to walk through walls is not one of them...... What the f*ck is wrong with you?

Eating for an army tonight?

One day I went into the local McDonald's to pick up dinner for a number of friends. I walked into the mostly empty restaurant and approached the counter alone - as my friends were waiting at home for me to bring the food. I ordered several extra value meals and the counter person looked at me and asked if it was to stay or to go. Well to stay of course! I always eat several meals at one time....... What the f*ck is wrong with you?

Um, yeah - I'll get right on that

A customer came to my store today looking for a particular cream. The item she wanted only came in a jar, but she wanted it in a tube. She explained to me that the tube was much more convenient to use, and I understood that. Heck, I even agree with that. But the item doesn't come that way - the manufacturer just doesn't make it in a tube. And I explained that to the woman several times. Her response? "But the tube is really so much neater and easier to use." (Repeated several times.) Um, yeah - well since you put it like that, I'll just drive to the factory and hold someone hostage until they make the item in a tube....... What the f*ck is wrong with you?

Paint a bullseye on the driver's door

Near my home is a 4 lane highway - 2 lanes going north, 2 lanes going south, and a fairly wide concrete divider between the 2 sets of lanes. There is a railroad crossing in the middle of this road where, of course, there is a gap in the divider for the train tracks. There is a guy who likes to use the railroad tracks to make his u-turn - despite the fact that there are 2 intersections (with traffic lights) within a block of the railroad crossing - one to the north and one to the south. Now this isn't something I've seen just once. This guy does it all the freakin' time! I've seen him a few times, my neighbors have seen him a few times, and one relative of mine used to see him do it every morning on the way to work Of course, we're locals so we're used to him by now. But some day he's going to catch some visitor by surprise and he's going to get creamed. That is unless he miscalculates and the train gets him first. Mister, what the f*ck is wrong with you?

A little more information is needed.....

A guy comes into my pharmacy to pick up an prescription. So I ask him what the name of the patient is - a logical question, right? His reply (and I'll change the name to protect the stupid), "Tom". So naturally I asked for a last name. The guy didn't have a clue what the last name would be. He just knew his friend Tom wanted him to pick up a prescription that had been called in that morning. He seemed quite puzzled that I would need more information than that. Let's see, over 200 prescriptions filled per day, all filed in the pickup bins by last name, with a few hundred more from the last few days that haven't been picked up, and probably at least 50 in there for someone with some variation of the name "Tom" - no...... why would I need a last name? I'll just dig around for awhile and pull out some random "Tom" to hand out. It's not like the wrong medication ever killed anybody before...... What the f*ck is wrong with you?

More debit madness

I know that every debit machine is different. Some like the magnetic stripe facing left and some like it facing right. So it doesn't faze me at all when people insert their cards backwards into the debit machine at my register. If I seem them starting to so that, then I just say "It goes the other way." And when I say that, most of the time the customer will remove their card, give it a 180 degree turn and insert it correctly. That's most of the time. But at least once a month I get some genius who will remove the card and turn it 360 degrees so that it's still facing the same wrong direction! What the f*ck is wrong with you?

Just Rob Me Blind......

You know how when you get a debit or credit card, the first thing it tells you in the accompanying letter is to NEVER carry the pin number with your card. You would think that was common sense, but then again, when has common sense ever been common? I had a woman at my register today who might as well have had a neon sign over her head that said "Take all my money please!" When she went to pay for her purchase with her debit card, she couldn't remember the pin number. Right there in front of me and the other people on line, she pulled out the letter the bank had sent with the assigned pin number. I thought that was dumb for her to be carrying it in her wallet, but I hadn't truly seen her brilliance yet. After glancing at the paper, she informed me that she couldn't read the number because she didn't have her glasses. So she asked me (a complete stranger) to read her pin number to her - out loud! So now everybody on that line knows her pin number. Lady, what the f*ck is wrong with you?

Another classic

A woman comes up to my counter with some wrapping paper that we had on clearance. Each package was marked 33 cents, but as I started to ring the items up, the customer stopped me. She informed me that while the packages were marked 33 cents, there was in fact a sign hanging up on the display that stated that the wrapping paper was 3 for a dollar. (Emphasis is all hers.) She was adamant that I charge her that 3 for a dollar sale price instead of 33 cents each. She wanted that bargain! Not a problem lady. I'd be more than happy to charge you a dollar instead of 99 cents. What the f*ck is wrong with you?

What the f*ck is wrong with you?

Welcome to the "What The F*ck Is Wrong With You?" blog. It's my space for venting about the stupid things I run into during the course of my day. Let me start off with a classic......

I work in retail. And one evening a gentleman came up to my counter to make a purchase. As so many people do, he chose to pay with a credit card. Nothing wrong with that, right? Only he didn't actually have a credit card with him. He had a post-it note with a credit card number written on it. He seemed quite surprised that we wouldn't accept his post-it note as a valid form of payment. So to that gentleman I say, what the f*ck is wrong with you?